Currently online · vibes: immaculate Location: undisclosed

Goopster.
Professionally
unserious.

Handle

@mrgoopensteinofficial

Also known as

Goopster

mrgoopensteinofficial@gmail.com

Status

Currently goopin'

/ 01

About the Goop

[ Who is he ]

"Goopster" is what they call me at brunch. "Mr. Goopenstein" is what shows up on the invoice.

I exist somewhere in the space between a person, a personality, and a category of my own. Mostly I'm just a guy on the internet — with a name, a few opinions, and a refusal to take any of it too seriously.

This is the official site. Everything else is a tribute act.

/ 02

Accomplishments

[ Mostly verbal ]

Survived adolescence (ongoing) A daily achievement. The streak is intact.

— STILL HERE

Made at least one person laugh today Unverified, but vibes confirm. That is the metric.

— PROBABLY

Quoted in a stranger's bio A line said in passing that became someone's whole identity. Mission accomplished, accidentally.

— LORE

Replied to a DM within the same week A rare and beautiful event. Treasured by witnesses.

— LANDMARK

Has, technically, "started something" Whether it's finished is a separate question and frankly not your business.

— IN PROGRESS

Shipped the Instagram Archiver A small but mighty tool. Comes in a .zip. Works as intended. Does what it says on the tin.

— v1.1 RELEASED

// the receipts

find out how i did it! ↗

/ 03

What they're saying

[ Unsolicited ]

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"He is, technically, a guy. I cannot stress enough how true this is."

— a friend, confirming

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"Goopster is the only person I would trust to housesit. The others know what they did."

— DM, allegedly

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

"Funny in person. Funnier when he doesn't know you're watching."

— anonymous, possibly mom

/ 04

The lore, briefly

[ A timeline ]

CH 01

the origin

Born. Survived. Eventually got a Wi-Fi connection. The rest, as they say, is whatever this is.

CH 02

the naming

"Goopster" appeared one day, unannounced, and refused to leave. Adopted by acclaim. No formal ceremony.

CH 03

the era of restraint

A focused period of saying less, doing more, and looking mysterious about it. Ended on a Tuesday, on purpose.

CH 04

present day

Currently online. Reading every DM. Allegedly working on something. Definitely not announcing it here.

/ 05 — Get in touch

Slide in tastefully.

Business, press, collabs, friendly hello, or genuinely just to say something nice — the email's open. First-DM rules apply: be normal, be brief, skip the pitch deck.

Goopster. Professionally unserious.

Slide in tastefully.

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Goopster.
Professionally
unserious.